Episode 4

full
Published on:

11th May 2026

Ian Paynton Hasn't Arrived Yet, and That's Okay With Him | Ep. 4

In this episode, Hannah and Amy sit down with Ian Paynton, an entrepreneur and content agency owner who built his dream life in Hanoi, Vietnam, and then found himself asking a question he wasn't prepared for: now what?

Ian takes us back to a childhood shaped by anxiety, loss, and a fierce determination to take care of his family and how that became fuel for decades of relentless performance mode, chasing a ladder of success he'd defined as 10 million pounds. He built the business, moved to Vietnam, got married, and checked every box. And still, the feeling he was waiting for never quite arrived.

Together we explore the arrival fallacy, the well-documented phenomenon where reaching a goal delivers far less happiness than we expected, and its close companion, hedonic adaptation, the brain's tendency to normalize new circumstances and quietly reset our baseline. Ian's story is one of the most honest and human illustrations of both.

The conversation closes with a beautiful reframe: that happiness isn't a destination, it's a butterfly that lands on you and floats away. What lasts is contentment, and that lives in the middle ground.

In this episode: the arrival fallacy, hedonic adaptation, anxiety as fuel, performance mode, contentment vs. happiness, discipline as grounding, the courage of hard conversations, and what it means to finally live in alignment with your values.

Find Ian: We Create Content Ian is a brand director, podcast host, and former journalist and magazine editor based in Hanoi, Vietnam.

Books recommended by Ian:

THE TOOLS by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age by Chip Conley

Reach out to us! Email us at hello@icanbehappier.com or visit icanbehappier.com. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. Please reach out to a qualified licensed provider if you need help.

As an Amazon affiliate, we get a small percentage of the sale of any books you purchase through our links. It's an easy way to support us! Thank you!

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for I Think I Can Be Happier

About the Podcast

I Think I Can Be Happier
Stories + science for people in progress
This one's for the person who knows they could be happier but isn't quite sure how to get there. Join us, Hannah Choi and Amy McDuffie, as we embark on this adventure with you. We're two people who work as executive function coaches and care deeply about living well. We're still figuring this whole happiness thing out ourselves and want to share what we learn with you! I Think I Can Be Happier brings you the stories of people who are finding their own path toward happiness, the science behind why it's so hard, and tools and strategies that might make things a little easier. Stories and science for people in progress.

About your hosts

Hannah Choi

Profile picture for Hannah Choi
Hannah Choi, MA, is an executive function coach and speaker who has spent over 20 years supporting high school students, college students, and adults through some of life's biggest transitions. As a mom of two teens and a late-diagnosed ADHDer, she brings both professional expertise and personal experience to her work helping people build the skills they need to thrive. As the former host of Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast, she's thrilled to be co-hosting I Think I Can Be Happier.

Amy McDuffie

Profile picture for Amy McDuffie
Amy is an executive function coach, educator, and parent dedicated to empowering others. Through executive function coaching, she works with clients on building confidence, setting realistic goals, and creating the life balance needed to achieve them. She holds a Master of Education with a background in behavior, education, and art, and brings a lifelong commitment to learning to everything she does.